This, as 2018 draws to a close and media worldwide is doing a recap of the year. In one word, it has been “chaos”. End of 2018, confusion prevails, from Kerala to Kashmir. Odisha remains India’s “best kept secret”, the Hockey World Cup will testify, and Uttar Pradesh is police graveyard. Also, the BJP lost ruling rights in Madhya Pradesh, Chhattisgarh and Rajasthan, three states now facing a urea shortage that will stunt crops and could blunt the BJP’s chances in GE 2019.

The northeast looks settled but Karnataka is not yet, with the JD(S)-Congress alliance showing signs of strain. National Conference leader Farooq Abdullah talks of ‘regional autonomy’ for J&K when in Srinagar, and for mahagathbandhan when in Delhi. Amit Shah has lost his zeal for 50 years of BJP rule. The 5-state elections rendered asunder his invincibility. He is in a booth with Narendra Modi on that. The BJP will step into 2019 with that sinking feeling which defines ‘depression’.

Bollywood actor Naseeruddin Shah is depressed. Naseer is afraid going forward. Aamir Khan was afraid in 2015. Shahrukh Khan is seldom. Salman Khan? He’s never afraid. ‘Being Human’ helps. But then, Naseer is ‘Shah’ only by surname. He never got Rajini-style smashing roles. Naseer is worried his children would be asked to state their religion! And they never went to mosque or mandir

The Khans’ – Aamir, Shahrukh, Saif Ali, and the lone Shah, Naseer – chose to marry Hindus and christened their children with Muslim names. That is secularism. Love Jihad is for the ‘Average Jaan’. Salman Khan is eligible bachelor at 50. Ditto Rahul Gandhi, 47 going on 48. Maybe, boarding PM-ship in 2019 will see him the first Prime Minister tying the knot in office. All the more reason to vote the Congress in? Chronic bachelors should get all help possible. News is that President Vladimir Putin is all set to marry, again.

That said, Rahul’s wedding-plans, if he has any, must be known to 10 investigating agencies, official snoops tasked with keeping track of the fast-paced political developments. Grounded in the belief that the more eyes the BJP has, the greater the possibility for Narendra Modi to continue with his world tour. An audit of money spent “hugging” will make a good story. But for that to be told, Modi shall have to be evicted so that a marriage pandal can be erected at the Prime Minister’s residence.

The BJP seems hell-bent on seeing Rahul Gandhi get married to power in 2019. Finance Minister Arun Jaitley cut through the GST-chaos Sunday and household appliances are among stuff that got tax relief. Every marriage needs pressure cookers and grinders and a future bride of a Congress Prime Minister will not say ‘No’. Ditto millions of common brides and commoner bridegrooms. The fake bachelor has had his stay and should make way.

The discerning eyes of Pakistan Prime Minister Imran Khan have caught the drift. The much-married in-swinger threw an out-swinger the other day, saying that India should learn from Pakistan how to treat its minorities. Shows that chaos this side of the border mirrors the one that side of Wagah. Prisoner of love Hamid Ansari, who returned home after six years in a Pakistani jail, says Pakistan is not safe for Indians – Muslim or Hindu.

To be fair to one and all, for all the cow vigilantism, minorities in India are not being hounded like Imran says. The blasphemy law in his Islamic Republic targets gods of other religious denominations, with Jesus Christ, especially, in the crosshairs. Imran’s no-ball is not lost on Muslims in India. They know which side of Wagah and Attari life is buttered more. Imran Khan should stick to his pitch. Naseer is also against aggression displayed by Virat Kohli on the Aussie pitch.

Cricket is no longer a gentleman’s game. Politics never was. And the BJP is a cow chewing cud. Four of the five years since coming to power, it bit into ‘Ram Mandir’ and ‘cow protection’ and is now regurgitating them for general elections 2019. Its words and actions betray the intent. The BJP is Bovine Janata Party! As for gender equality, which is at the Centre of the Sabarimala chaos, Kanaka Durga’s husband Krishnan Unni is a cowed hubby. “She just took off without informing me,” he told media. (IPA Service)