Just so that the Yogi and his Cabinet got it right, Shashi Tharoor from God’s Own Country tweeted in the language the Yogi had mastery in, Hindi! Translated in the language Tharoor has mastery of, English, the tweet reads: “You want to keep the Ganga clean and also wash your sins here. Everyone’s naked in the Sangam. Jai Ganga maiyya.”

The Yogi’s cabinet will spend hours trying to make sense of Tharoor’s tweet, break the secret code in Tharoor’s Hindi! What does the definitely not cattle-class Congress MP want to convey; what’s the hidden meaning in the words? What does he want to tell the world with “You want to keep the Ganga clean and also wash your sins here”? Does he mean the Yogi’s sins washed off in the Ganga will not help keep the Ganga clean?

And why stress on ‘everyone is naked in the Sangam’; that Yogi has things to hide, despicable acts? Important: The Yogi took the Kumbh dip in the Ganga after holding a meeting of his Cabinet at the Kumbh Mela. What sort of Cabinet meeting must it have been? What sort of Kumbh decisions did the Cabinet take? Yogi Adityanath is selling the Kumbh Mela to the world as Samsung is selling Android smartphones to Uttar Pradesh and Shashi Tharoor out on bail taunts him.

Shouldn’t Tharoor be washing some of his sins off at the Kumbh? Like asking citizens to ‘Spelling Bee’ words that would fit in a pipe, so long they are; one which is as worthless as it is its meaning –floccinaucinihilipilification! With the number of indescribable of words at his command, Tharoor, if he takes a dip in the Kumbh, will drown the Holy Ganga in a farrago of expressions that will bounce off the Yogi and naked Naga sadhu’s skin, no water on the duck’s back!

The Yogi did not react to Tharoor’s impertinence, but his cabinet colleague Siddharth Nath Singh got the meaning and reacted for the Yogi’s Cabinet, charging Tharoor with throwing floccinaucinihilipilification (worthless) words in Hindi at the Yogi. “How will he (Tharoor) understand the importance of Kumbh? The atmosphere he’s in, the culture he has been brought up in, doesn’t understand this. You people have committed a lot of misdeeds, take a holy dip in Kumbh and you might be able to repent for your sins,” Singh said.

Poor ignorant Singh, he doesn’t know that he is talking to an upper caste of the highest order in Kerala society. Tharoor, if he had not spent half his life in New York and not been skedaddling in and out of Dubai, would have told Siddharth Nath Singh a couple of mantras that don’t need to be overwhelmed in holy water to take effect. The Yogi and Singh are Kshatriya and Tharoor is twice-born gone to St. Stephens.

It also could be – this ignorance of Tharoor’s superior airs – because Singh took the Kumbh dip after Yogi treated his Cabinet to a special screening of the Vicky Kaushal-starrer ‘Uri: The Surgical Strike’. The macho message of the movie must have left Siddharth Nath Singh in a high state of alert, in a Special Forces bent of mind. So much so Tharoor’s surgical strike on the Yogi got Singh’s goat. And he thinks he’s a ram, a goat of the male order! (IPA Service)