It’s at such times that you don’t ask money where it’s coming from. Money is money by any name – rupee, dirham or dollar. Whoever has some to spare is welcome to spread it around. Of course, there’s never ever any free lunch. ‘What’s hidden in the largesse, what are the strings attached?’ matters.

The individual donor could look for repayment from God – in the form of ‘Moksha’ and ‘Jannat’ – ‘Punya’ (Prasad!). Countries could underline aid with conditions. Kerala Chief Minister Pinarayi Vijayan says the rulebook has to be revisited. Far as the world knows, UAE has not said the $100 million is only for the beef-eater.

Unlike the despicable fellow Chakrapani Baba of the Hindu Mahasabha who says ‘only those who don’t eat beef’ should get relief, meaning only the religiously fastidious Malayali Hindu. To think there are such asses around is to look at donkeys with respect! Such a flawed argument. There are very few of the Malayali – Hindu, Muslim or Christian – who objects to beef.

Besides, the Malayali is kind of a ‘private ltd. chap’ when it comes to food choice, except at Onam time! Then, it’s what’s in the ‘sadhya’, nothing on demand. Religion served in temples, mosques and churches shouldn’t be taken home to be reheated and served on dinner tables. Packaging religion in food packets isn’t going to help anybody.

Like nobody asked where the dollar comes from, nobody Hindu should slap taboo on meat of any sort that ‘God made for Man to survive.’ Nobody dying of hunger will be consigned to hell for taking a bite of a mastodon that escaped the Mesozoic age and popped up in UAE's Empty Quarter. It comes with the privilege of being top of the food-chain.

Time was when the Hindu did not mind what went into his belly. Then, the cow got elevated to holy status. It didn’t matter, in time there came people who strung up the goat and slaughtered the cow. These are the people who Chakrapani Baba doesn’t want to be given flood aid.

Chakrapani Baba should drink a glass of water and hunt some shade, take a cue from the UAE which nobody believes must have attached strings to the Rs 700 crore in aid. The Modi government is tied to policy and there are Chakrapanis in the BJP but no government should carry water for any Chakrapani.

Kerala needs money piled high to climb out of the waterhole it’s in and every bundle of piety will help. Money to the count of $100 million is dates (a la peanuts) for the UAE, overflowing with people with large hearts. It shouldn’t be hard for the Sheikhs to find a non-governmental agency to route the much-required grant. The Modi government has said as much while thanking his royal highnesses of the UAE.

In the Gulf, the Malabari Malayali is thicker than the grass and has his name written in sand in the Empty Quarter, the Rub al Khali, the world’s largest sandy desert. “It was very still,” wrote Wilfred Thesiger about the Empty Quarter in his book Arabian Sands, “with the silence which we have driven from our world.” Chakrapani Baba should stop yelling and to the Empty Quarter go. May be he’ll not be able to find his way back. Nice thought to close shop on! (IPA Service)